Maybe this will become a long post one day but these are just some thoughts off the top of my head. I don’t mean to offend.
I’ve been listening to a couple of ladies with what looks like a successful and growing on-line business. They serve women who are probably about 35ish, who probably have kids, and who probably haven’t quite reached their dreams. The ladies do personal coaching for six-weeks in trade for a thousand dollars.
They talk alot about deep work. The conversation goes like this: “So, you got up this morning and yelled at your husband. Then you yelled at your eleven-year-old who wants Fruit Loops and you’ve already poured the Honey Nut Cheerios. Goddammit! Where’s the creamer??”
They go on: “Girlfriend? We’ve got work to do. We’ve got to go deep and find out where that comes from. There’s DEEP WORK to do ladies! Why do you wake up like that? What happened? What scarred you? What switch was flipped when you were five that still lingers in your psyche? Come on over to our FB group and get on board. Meet other ladies asking the same questions. We’ve got answers. Get ready for the diamond-studded you to come out after we go deep!”
A couple of things come to mind.
The first is…good gawd. Get on with your life. How about this? Apologize to your husband and kid for being crabby. Tell them that you slept lousy on your flat pillow and that you feel your period coming on. Ask for ten minutes alone to have a coffee and collect yourself. And then get on with life. What good can come from wallowing in what your Dad said to you when you were four?
Secondly is that this sounds so weak and fragile and mealy-mouthed compared to people who have been truly broken and have stood up anyway and walked through their brokenness. Girlfriend? Grow a spine!
Look. There are people who have truly been broken and scarred. They need real help. But most people don’t need this kind of straggling obsession with their past. In fact, for most people, this just keeps you from going outside and living life. My advice? Get yourself a journal and start ruminating. Wonder about lots of things and don’t keep many too close. Open up. Enjoy. Help someone.