The famed Dennis Mitton library...lots of words.

Perspective in Relationships  – No. 57

Perspective 57

So much of life is about perspective. I lay on the road a few years ago, crumpled like an accordion and with my brain bleeding. Today – semi-sane again – my entire family looks back on the episode with gratitude: the person who drove into me called 911, I had world-class care at Atlanta’s Sheperd Center, and G knit me back together in ways no expert can explain. Conversely, we could complain and let the event sour our lives. One fork leads to life, while the other leads to further disillusionment and heartbreak. I choose one path. 

You’ll have to choose a path, too, in whatever you do. In almost all things, there are ways to get about it. Some ways build you up. Others let you wallow in the same mud you’ve enjoyed for years. It’s become a battle cry for me: You Choose. And you live with your choice.

Here’s something to consider when we talk with people.

You snap at your friend, lover, or live-in and write it off with a hug and an explanation that you’re just out of sorts today. You’re tired and had a lousy day at work. ‘Forgive me? Just let me sit in the bath for a moment and I’ll be fine.’

But when your friend, lover, or live-in snaps at you? Well, the mind starts whirling. They are so mean-spirited. They never believe in you. They are always looking for a way to put you down. As much as you try to love, they just keep judging.

Or… maybe, like you last week, they’re just having a bad day and need a sit in a hot bath?

Looking at yourself, for you, it’s a one-time thing, easily explained and easily forgiven. For them, from your eyes, it’s always or never.

For more on perspective, go here.


Thanks so much for reading. Can you think of someone else who would like the post? Please mail it to them or share it with your favorite social media using one of the icons below. And won’t you follow me? You can do so in the sidebar. Thanks again! And feel free to comment! 


  1. scmglove

    This reminds me of my favorite George W. Bush quote, “Too often we judge other groups by their worst examples, while judging ourselves by our best intentions.”

    Stephanie and I have talked about this and have actively worked together to combat it. It can all be solved with trust and humility. Two things that even during the best of times can be difficult qualities to portray in earnest. When I’m frustrated with Stephanie I force myself to recall that this is my person. She is the one that loves me always. It doesn’t always work to resolve the issue immediately but thinking this way has benefited my marriage by allowing me to think before I speak or act and to react with humility.

    • Dennis Mitton – Seattleite in South Carolina – Writer of fiction and non. Lots of words. Russian and French lit. Chemist by day. Run a slow 5k. Proven breeder/twins.
      Dennis Mitton

      Wise words! When did that happen?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *